Footing

When I walk I stare at my toes

and think of the language of
shoes. I purchase them based 
on vocabulary and definitely,
attitude. 
I used to walk, eyes up, shoulders
back like I was trained, Dad’s hand 
wrapped around my neck, gripping, directing to the desired task, or 
person for whom I’d smile like a 
puppet with no words but a sort of 
weak ventriloquism. 
Dad wore black loafers with tassels,
or occasionally wingtips. He never
looked at them but then, he could
always speak for himself.  

 

Expectations

I panic when I cannot sleep.
I cannot sleep because I panic.
I know damn well that there’s no
real cause for alarm, but it doesn’t
matter. Controlling the process
is controlling the direction
of the wind.

I am sad when I see cruelty. Because of cruel people I am sad.
I know that these persons are
primarily hurt, but it doesn’t matter.
Controlling the process is controlling
the height of the waves as they wash
the shore.

I draw a circle and it is round. When I
see a round shape, it is a circle. It doesn’t matter. They’re one and the same and all of life is like this. We wonder, when it does not matter, which of all came first. Controlling the process is holding hands and expecting not to be strangers.